Oh, ok Faramir.
Medieval church door in Gloucestershire believed to be the inspiration for J.R.R. Tolkien’s entrance to Moria
- Aragorn: I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn.
- Aragorn: This is Gimli, son of Gloin
- Aragorn: And this is Legolas...
- Legolas: he's fucking forgotten my dad's name
- Aragorn: ...of the woodland realm
- Legolas: oh my god
Reason #841 I need to fight J.R.R. Tolkien IMMEDIATELY
Okay, so, now that I’ve slept, I can now talk about the reason for my BURNING NEED TO FIGHT J.R.R. TOLKIEN PHYSICALLY AND IMMEDIATELY with considerably less drama than I would’ve otherwise expressed.
This all started just because I wanted to translate the word “net” (like a fishing net) into Elvish. That’s all I wanted. One small task.
Of course, I then immediately find out that, lo, there’s not just one Elvish. There are multiple Elvish languages. Ha ha ha, oh Tolkien, of course you’d do that. You eccentric dead coot. Thanks for making my task more difficult than necessary, but you know, whatever, that makes the world of middle earth more realistic and he seemed to really enjoy inventing languages, and why should I criticize a dead man for having fun with his world, yeah?
So while I’m attempting to navigate through this endless…WORDPILE of information on different Elvish languages and which one would be most appropriate for translating the word “net,” I of course discover there’s several other languages, which actually does not surprise me. I mean, of course, it’s only natural that the different races would have different languages. I can roll with that logic.
This is about where my willingness to go along with Tolkien’s antics starts to crumble.
Christopher Tolkien explains why his father, JRR Tolkien, wrote down “The Hobbit” in the first place, when it was originally intended to be an oral bedtime story for his children.
(found in the forward to The Hobbit Fiftieth Anniversary Edition, 1987)
'Damn the boy'
This German art student, Benjamin Harff, decided, for his exam at the Academy of Arts, to do something only slightly ambitious — to hand-illuminate and bind a copy of J.R.R. Tolkien’s Silmarillion. It took him six months of work. He hand-illuminated the text which had been printed on his home Canon inkjet printer. He worked with a binder to assemble the resulting book.
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