The Skellingcorner (Posts tagged Terry Pratchett)

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
poorlydescribedpterrybooks
incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the first day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me: 

Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the second day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the third day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the fourth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the fifth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the sixth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the seventh day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Seven cures for hangovers

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the eight day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Eight Wizards feasting

Seven cures for hangovers

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the ninth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Nine guards a-dying

Eight Wizards feasting

Seven cures for hangovers

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the tenth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Ten thousand pork pies*

Nine guards a-dying

Eight Wizards feasting

Seven cures for hangovers

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie


*and a turnip that was pork pie shaped.

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the eleventh day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

Eleven nightmares scaring

Ten thousand pork pies*

Nine guards a-dying

Eight Wizards feasting

Seven cures for hangovers

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie


*and a turnip that was pork pie shaped.

incorrectdiscworldquotes

On the twelfth day of Hogswatch, my Grandpa gave to me:

+++ A Twelve Ram Skull Processor +++

Eleven nightmares scaring

Ten thousand pork pies*

Nine guards a-dying

Eight Wizards feasting

Seven cures for hangovers

Six Assassins scheming

Fiiiiive Auditooooooors

Four brand-new gods

Three dangerous presents,

Two unhelpful hints,

and Albert dressed as a pixie


*and a turnip that was pork pie shaped.

Source: incorrectdiscworldquotes
Hogfather Terry Pratchett
poorlydescribedpterrybooks

Witch Tip #154

witchtips

Wearing a peach pit around your neck will ward off evil.

youcantseebutimmakingaface

Bad witch tip: several peach pits and a sling shot will ward of everything else

dharmagun

worse witch tip: a few peach pits correctly distilled will produce cyanide, which should sort yer problems out nicely.

breelandwalker

Chaotic Good, Chaotic Neutral, Chaotic Evil

copperbadge

Magrat, Nanny Ogg, Granny Weatherwax. 

dovewithscales

Still worse witch tip: The skulls of the people you poisoned with the cyanide can be used in spells to compel the evil you were warding off to do your bidding.

onlyinankhmorpork

aaaand there’s Black Aliss.

violent-darts

Long term tip: planting a peach-tree from the peach-pit will give you peaches, which taste good, and can be used to produce social alliances within the community, and also to make peaches and cream, which is I’ve found more effective at warding off evil than anything bar salt and iron. 

Plus other witches will then come to you looking for peach pits. 

kittydesade

While we’re talking about peaches, never accept them from suspiciously pretty men with pointy smiles and self-contradictory invitations. 

morkaischosen

I don’t think it really needs saying at this point, but we have our Tiffany.

Source: witchtips
Discworld Terry Pratchett Witches
knitmeapony

Things I Learned From Sir Terry Pratchett And His Marvelous Worlds (A Necessary List)

knitmeapony

  1. The dogged determination and patience of one person to do what is Right and Necessary may not always win the day or even be noticed, but it will tip the balance just a little in the direction of good.
  2. “[T]he innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like ‘The innocent have nothing to fear’.”
  3. Help when you can, lift when you can, work as you can, but never be afraid to ask ‘will I get paid for this?’
  4. Everyone’s got hidden depths.  Some people have beautiful hidden mountain glades filled with adorable doe-eyed bunnies.  Some people have black oubliettes filled with nightmares and worse. Endeavor to be the sort of person that has both sorts of depths as neighbors.  Plumb them with caution.
  5. Find a place to call home, and know it so well you can tell what street you’re on by the feel of cobblestones through your boots.
  6. You can always come home again, but that doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards.
  7. There is never a bad time for a pun.
  8. There’s also never really a good time for a pun.
  9. You might as well just stay braced for a pun at all times, and ride them when they come with as much grace as you can manage.
  10. The fact that you can replace ‘pun’ with ‘disaster’ in the last three rules says a lot about the human race.
  11. Many people can survive absolutely anything as long as they know where their next meal is coming from. Others can not survive much, no matter how many meals they know about, and there’s no shame in that, nor admitting that, nor leaning on others to get there.
  12. You can protect children and you can teach children, but never perfectly in either case.
  13. You may not be able to change the world, but that doesn’t mean you have to stand for any sort of nonsense in your personal life.
  14. Everybody has somebody.  It could be a friend, a lover, a spouse, a writing partner, or even That One Person You See At The Coffee Shop each day.  Sometimes they exist to comfort you.  Sometimes they exist to drive you absolutely mad.  Be open to either as a form of self-improvement.
  15. Death comes to us all, but memory is long and time is tricky.  The end for you is, most likely, not really the end for everyone else.  
  16. If you know the end, if you can see the end, there’s no need to be resigned.  Keep walking on cheerfully, whistling right up to the precipice, and let people remember you by the beautiful song you leave in the air.

Thank you, sir.  You will be missed.

Terry Pratchett
discworldtour
And I said “well that’s all very well but I think you should do a book about Death.” And then a week later my phone would ring and I pick it up and a voice would say “You bastard, it’s called Mort!” And hangs up.

Neil on Terry, DEATH, and Mort (via batsonthebrain)

My copy of MORT is signed “To Neil Gaiman, in the hope that he won’t tell everyone it was his idea.”

(via neil-gaiman)

Source: batsonthebrain
Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman