D&D alignments as Terry Pratchett quotes
Lawful Good: Witches know that people die; and if they manages to die after a long time, leavin’ the world better than they went an’ found it, well then, that’s surely a reason to be happy. All the rest of it is just tidyin’ up. —The Shepherds Crown
Neutral Good: All he knew was that you couldn’t hope to try for the big stuff, like world peace and happiness, but you might just about be able to achieve some tiny deed that’d make the world, in a small way, a better place. —The Fifth Elephant
Chaotic Good: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because they are mine! I have a duty! —The Wee Free Men
Lawful Neutral: The chieftain had been turned into a pumpkin although, in accordance with the rules of universal humour, he still had his hat on. —Lords and Ladies
True Neutral: The man gave a shrug that indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his. —Soul Music
Chaotic Neutral: The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select. —Lords and ladies
Lawful Evil: A psychiatrist, dealing with a man who fears he is being followed by a large and terrible monster, will endeavour to convince him that monsters don’t exist. Granny Weatherwax would simply give him a chair to stand on and a very heavy stick. —Masquerade
Neutral Evil: The wages of sin are death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays. —Witches Abroad
Chaotic Evil: He looked evil in an interesting kind of way, like a pirate who really understood the words “Jolly Roger.” —Masquerade
Thank you to @terrypratchettparadise for their boundless supply of Terry Pratchett quotes!
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