Bioware Gothic (all games)

[kakaphoe]

• You read online that there’s a Sonic game, but you’ve never met anyone who has seen it, let alone played it.
• Ahh the Child of Bhaal has awoken.
  
• You’re in a bar and want to order a drink. You lean on the bar and move your hand slightly. The bartender gives you a glass. You toss the glass back in one gulp. You don’t recall seeing any liquid at any time. You shake your head and walk away.
  
• It is time for more experiments
  
• You’re talking to Lady Aribeth de Tylmarande. She is wearing plate amour. Her chest is jiggling like a bag of kittens, you don’t know why.
• You’re trying to find a good hair texture. Your hair looks like bubblegum. When you step into the light your face begins to melt into grease. Your love interest has a headache.
  
• You were talking to a party member. They start singing but their lips don’t match what you’re hearing. It’s very awkward. Where is that music coming from?
• You kiss your love interest in a dramatic cutscene, your hands clip straight through their back/hair/armour. It’s very romantic apparently.
• You have a dream about the past after performing a plot significant event. You awake with a new power for some reason. You never remember to use it.
• Bondari reloads but not you, not ever, you’re playing the Iron Man challenge and you hate yourself.
  
• You’re talking to your love interest. Their head starts wobbling back and forth. You try not to stare. They make a conciliatory gesture, but they forgot to put down their blasters first. You watch as their guns clip directly through their face.
• That one character you can’t romance is the only one you want to romance. Every time. You suspect a conspiracy. You collect metallic pantaloons to test your theory.
  
• There’s an upcoming game you’re excited about and a character you’re particularly interested in. You look them up online and then you see it, the letters that have haunted your dreams for years. “L” and “K”. You wake in a cold sweat, but you know it wasn’t a dream.
• There’s no cure for the taint, they say, but your dog says otherwise.