Me: I wish to spend an extended time rubbing my fingers over some small patch of pleasantly-textured surface. Perhaps the fur of an animal?
The miniaturized apex predator with which I share my home: [vibrates at a soothing frequency to encourage this behavior]
Is anyone else ever genuinely shocked when you find out you have an impact on someone’s life? A coworker can be like “I’ve missed seeing you” and I’m just like “???? you?? missed me????? My presence has an effect on your daily experience???? I affect things??? W h a t ? ? ?”
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