Happy Anniversary, Harry Potter! Thank you for 20 years of magic ⚡️
Did that cat just turn into a dog with a single button press?
Oh I’m an asshole.
So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.
So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.
But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.
Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.
Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.
She stops, wide-eyed.
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”
I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”
Then I winked at her, and walked away.
Hey, guys! :D I wrote a Skyrim bard song, just for fun!
Here’s the new video for it and lyrics below.
Vokul Fen Mah
Fire, fire dragon fire
Searing words of ancient ire
Wake, wake from the grave
Rise to set the world aflame
Hmm-hmm-hmm (hehe)
Night, night endless night
Terror is the only light
Bane, bane rage untamed
Darkness dwells in age-old blame
Voth aan JOOR-ZAH-FRUL rein
(With a Dragonrend roar)
Vokul fen mah, fen mah
(Evil will fall, will fall)
Fin norok ved viing bonaar
(The fiercest black wings humbled)
Vokul fen mah
(Evil will fall)
Sul, sul fent alok
(Day, day shall arise)
Nahkriin mahfaeraak nahlot
(Vengeance forever silenced)
Qahnaar fin mey wo nis koraav
(Vanquish the fool who cannot see)
Vokunne qiilaan wah fin krein
(shadows bow to the sun)
Voth aan JOOR-ZAH-FRUL rein
(With a Dragonrend roar)
Vokul fen mah, fen mah
(Evil will fall, will fall)
Fin norok ved viing bonaar
(The fiercest black wings humbled)
Vokul fen mah
(Evil will fall)
‘Oh yes? Can you identify yourself?’
‘Certainly. I’d know me anywhere.’
Terry Pratchett - Masquerade (via terrypratchettparadise)
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