THIS GUY WAS HITTING ON ME AND MAKING ME SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE, SO I TOLD HIM I HAVE A BOYFRIEND (because he seemed like one of those guys who, whilst they don’t respect women, they do respect another man’s “claim” on a woman) AND HE WAS LIKE “PROVE IT; SHOW ME A PICTURE” SO I SHOWED HIM THE BACKGROUND ON MY MOBILE AND HE BELIEVED ME
THIS IS MY MOBILE BACKGROUND:
I TOLD HIM IT WAS A PICTURE OF MY BOYFRIEND IN COSTUME FOR A PLAY. THANK YOU OSCAR WILDE FOR GETTING THAT FUCKBOY TO LEAVE.
This is what he would have wanted
Mary had no little lamb
But her mind did glow
With images of her sweet pet
Which worried her parents so
Mary, you see, was developing fits
Which caused her to shake and seize
Whenever her little lamb came to her
Her mind felt a gentle squeeze
And so her parents admitted her
To a children’s hospital
The walls of her room soft and light
And yet, the lamb still pulled
Tests all run, doctors stumped
They couldn’t find a thing
Mary talked less and less each day
But to her lamb, her words did ring
She told him of her biggest hopes
Her wants, her needs, her dreams
The lamb listened and licked its lips
And soon Mary started to scream
Blood had pooled inside her brain
Creating her sheep and fits
Burrowing into her gentle folds
And birthing a deadly cyst
Doctors came running in a stream
While Mary’s face turned blue
Her body contorting in horrible shapes
But there was nothing they could do
Mary watched as her body died
Newly a spirit, she loomed
Her lamb scolded “it’s time to leave”
And ushered her out the room
Mary peeked through a crack in the door
And learned of the lamb’s own needs
For it lowered its head to her now-still form
And happily began to feed
_________________________________________________________
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You don’t have to be grateful that it isn’t worse.
read that.
read it again, and again, and again.
somebody, somewhere, always has it worse than you. there is one person on this planet that has it the worst of all, and that person is NOT the only person allowed to be unhappy with their lot.
if things are bad for you, they are bad for you. period.
This goes for trauma as well. A lot of times survivors get trapped in a cycle of minimizing/diminishing their trauma because “other people have it worse” - but there is no hierarchy of trauma. There is no ranking system for which traumas are “better” or “worse.” Your trauma is valid. Period.
IMPORTANT TRUTHS.
As a therapist, lemme just say: almost every trauma survivor I’ve ever had has at some point said “But I didn’t have it as bad as some people” and then talked about how other types of trauma are worse. Even my most-traumatized, most-abused, most psychologically-injured clients say this.
The ones who were cheated on, abandoned, and neglected say this. The ones who were in dangerous accidents/disasters say this. The ones who were horrifyingly sexually abused say this. The ones who were brutally beaten say this. The ones who were psychologically tortured for decades say this. What does that tell you? That one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.
Don’t buy into it, because it’s nonsense. It doesn’t matter if someone else had it “worse.” Every person who experiences a trauma deserves to get the attention and care they need to heal from it.
“one of the typical side-effects of trauma is to make you believe that you are unworthy of care.”
SO true.
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