Daily Mirror, England, January 23, 1923
Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.
my favourite thing about arte (this french-german public tv channel) is how nobody actually gets it? like the germans blame the frenchs and the frenchs blame the germans for the bizarre and frankly somewhat unsettling artsy stuff and together all 140 million of us just squint at the screen, briefly trying to understand what on earth that semi-naked person is trying to tell with interpretative dance in a perfectly white room with no furniture or exit before switching channels bc ain’t nobody need those nightmares that stuff gives you
they do show very good movies and documentaries tho
Guys I had so much fun coming up with the first list of dumb D&D items that I just had to make some more:
The Cloak of Water Resistance: upon donning this shimmering blue cloak, the user gains the ability to repel all water. Water-based attacks (tidal waves, watery spheres, etc.) simply part around them, and they can walk on water at half their regular speed. However, they will also experience crippling hydrophobia, and struggle to willingly get near any lakes, oceans, rivers, ponds, etc.
Child’s Wonder: this item is a small wooden airship, intricately carved and fully capable of flight for one hour per day at flying speed of 120ft. However, it can only fit creatures of the size category “tiny” and smaller. It leaves a cloud of rainbow glitter in its trail.
The Ring of Warning: this ring gives off a magical aura and occasionally glows. Only an Identify spell will reveal that it just gets brighter in the presence of strong sunlight. Apply sunscreen when UV radiation is high.
The Stick of Returning: this small twig wants to go back to the tree from which it came. As players get closer and closer to its destination, more and more leaves will grow from its tip. This item can also cast the cantrip Druidcraft once per day, which increases in strength as it nears its tree.
The Necromancer’s Compass: a shriveled, ancient thumb of indeterminate origin. When placed on a flat surface, it will point north. Also, ew.
Rose-tinted Glasses: a pair of wire spectacles with pink lenses. Upon wearing these glasses the user gains a +5 to charisma checks for cheering people up. They also suffer a -5 to wisdom checks, and feel incredibly optimistic about the world.
The Wooden Duck: it looks like a duck. It’s painted like a duck. And soon it’ll quack like a duck too. This object transforms into a living, breathing bird when placed into a body of water. It can be commanded to swim, dive, or generally whatever it is that ducks do in lakes. Responds to the name “Lionel.”
Extremely City white people are so fucking weird they see a pic of a deer and theyre like “its an Old God, tell me the wisdom of the trees Forest Lord … wow this is just like game of thrones” its a deer. Its a fucking stupid idiot animal it doesnt know shit
Yes deer are dumb panicky dinguses in real life, but sometimes a picture will capture one looking all majestic and we just… want to believe…
Case in point: this dude
Yes he got like that by being so hormonally addled that he tried to fight a tree. But try to tell me a forest god wouldn’t have big leafy antlers just like that if he were to take a physical form.
who says the old gods aren’t stupid animals who are so hormonally addled they’d try to fight a tree
@librariansheart for your enjoyment
Look, I’ve lived a good chunk of my childhood in a halfway abandoned mountain village in the middle of nowhere. Which meant wildlife galore whether you liked it or not.
And that meant sometimes we saw a deer in the middle of the road at midnight and the majestic motherfucker just stared us down until my mom shredded our tires to stop from hitting him. Once we stopped he did a little half-bow as if saying ‘You have not committed an act of godslayer this night. Your bloodline shall bear no curse of mine’, and walked away chill as you please.
The next day a neighbor told us a deer with fucking big antlers got tangled in his fence because it was trying to steal his grapes.
I went on a hike with another neighbor to collect yarrow for tea. A bear came out of the woods towards us, went on its hind legs and inquiringly roared. And he pushed me, tiny as I was back then, behind me out of sight and spread his jacket wide to make himself seem bigger than he already was. He let out a sound I had not known humans were capable of making. He and the bear looked at each other for a moment, and came to an understanding. The bear went down and walked away, respecting a powerful opponent protecting its young.
A week ago, there had been a bear that completely tore apart our trashcan and gorged itself on half-fermented apples we threw away. My cousin had to chase it away, drunk out of its tiny fucking mind, with an umbrella that made weird noises when opened. The bear ran for its life, crashed into our wall, fell on its ass, and scampered away.
I was playing on a swing once, all alone, and a fox came up to me, the most beautiful animal I had seen in my ten years of life. Thinking it wanted to pass, I stopped swinging and sat still not to spook it. But instead of passing, the fox circled the swing, found it wanting, and came to sit before me perfectly poised and looked me in the eye, and I could swear it wished to tell me something but I could not understand the language spoken before human time.
Then my mom came out of the nearby inn, shrieked at the fox and swung her purse to chase it away. The fox jumped, ran off and fell into a ditch, all notions of grace gone with the wind.
What I’m saying is: the old gods are absolutely idiot animals who embraced the life of constant sex and hedonism in return for losing their higher power. Whether or not they regret it, we’ll never know.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE OLD MYTHS TELL US DAMN IT!!
This is a genre of content that I love. There’s one where a woman throws trash back into a guy’s car and keeps walking, and when he starts to get out of the car, a guy walking with a girl in the opposite direction slams the driver’s door shut and does the same finger wagging thing. I could watch these all day.
Found it
Don’t forget this bad bitch doin’ it in heels and a tight pencil skirt
Trifecta
Reblogging less than an hour later for the addition.
Who wants to know what those herbs are really good for?
fantasy writers have a thing for using Welsh as inspiration for their world’s languages but usually they at least vaguely change the words a bit or at least mix them with other languages, but the author of the Witcher just straight up took rhwydwaith carthion, thought ‘fuck it, that sounds vaguely like something you’d find in a potion’, chucked it into the series and just left it there for unsuspecting Welsh speakers to suddenly listen to Yennefer talk about how the best acid trip of her life came from eating a sewage system
Oh my god THANK YOU, use of Welsh in the Witcher has absolutely blindsided me
OMAFG hahahaaaa
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