Why I Prioritize Mental Health
by Chris Harbur, Impact Manager, DoSomething.org
A few years ago, I made a pretty big career shift, leaving behind the thing I had been doing for quite some time and trying something totally new. For the first time in my life, I had real deadlines, bosses, and was immersed in an incredibly fast paced environment where everyone seemed about 100x smarter than me. Quickly, despite the fact the everyone was telling me what a great job I was doing, I began waking up with a crushing sense of anxiety. Some days it was so bad I would consider pretending to be sick or worry that I wasn’t capable enough. Depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder run in my family, but I had never experienced any of it firsthand.
It eventually got to the point where this feeling never went away. From the moment I woke up til the moment I fell asleep, I had this heaviness in my chest. It was kind of like I could never take a full, deep breath. It began to overpower all of the joy in my life; movies and video games would give me panic attacks, sports became laborious, and even time with close friends felt like a real struggle to act “normal” when hanging out.
After several months of this, I knew I had to do something. I had never been to a therapist before, but at this point, I would try anything. After the first few weeks of therapy, I found that it actually did help a little. I got to the point where I actually had tiny pockets in my day where I wouldn’t feel crushingly anxious. After a few more weeks of this, though, I knew I simply couldn’t live like this any longer. I never seriously considered taking my own life, but I was literally willing to try anything else.
A friend mentioned that they had tried medication for their depression/anxiety and it had turned their life around. I hated the thought of being daily medicated. I worried about side effects. I worried about the cost. I worried about what others would think of me and that I was somehow failing them and myself. At this point, though, I was so desperate to feel ANYTHING besides paralyzing anxiety that I talked to my therapist about it. He gave me the number for a psychiatrist, and I set up an appointment.
For 4-5 weeks I felt no different. It was upsetting that I had now tried everything I knew: increased exercise, therapy, meditation, adjusting my medication, no more Game of Thrones before bedtime - you know, all the major sacrifices a human can make. But here is the craziest twist in this story…On the 6th week of being medicated I woke up and felt completely ok. I couldn’t believe it. No outside circumstances had changed. I just felt better.
Two years later, I am still taking meds and have experienced very little anxiety. I have no apparent side effects and am able to confidently and capably deal with anything that arises in a given day. I still make sure I am regularly exercising, start every day with 5 minutes of silent prayer/meditation, and go to weekly therapy. I have realized that my mental health is now my top priority because proper self care and good mental health are what allow me to work to the best of my abilities in every aspect of my life.
It has always been my M.O. that if you go through a terrible experience, you have to use those learnings to help others. I found that I had more empathy when people told me they were feeling depressed or just seemed not quite themselves. I also recently joined Crisis Text Line as a counselor. For 4 hours each week, I text with young people in crisis, many of whom are feeling that crushing anxiety I once felt. I can’t cure them, but I can climb down in that dark hole with them, tell them how brave they are, what steps they can take, and let them know that it does get better.
You can help spread the word about Crisis Text Line to those who may be in crisis by signing up for DoSomething.org’s Crisis Crew campaign! Click the link, sign up, print out your CTL stickers from our downloadable template, and put them in public places someone might be while in crisis (like public bathrooms)! It’s super easy and super impactful for those in need! http://dsorg.us/2osqCPr
Read more stories from the DoSomething.org staff here!
IF YOU ARE IN REAL CRISIS, TEXT DS TO 741741.
IF YOU ARE IN NEED, CHECK OUT THESE MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES:
A simple and easy way to make sure that young people in need learn about the vital services @crisistextline provides. You can sign up to help those in crisis find help.
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@blackgirlssmileinc is a nonprofit organization dedicated to encouraging positive mental health education, resources and support geared toward young African American females.
@nedafeedinghope supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.
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