Things that are technically “Addams Family” canon whether we like it or not

neil-gaiman:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

santaclausdeadindian:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

chris-t-human:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

breefolk-hates-staff:

whencartoonsruletheworld:

• The Family owns Central Park and sometimes lives there
• We have seen a canon!Female Pugsley
  
• Pugsley’s first word was “Help”, after Wednesday threw him down a trapdoor
• Gomez went to Law School and actually somehow passed and also doesn’t know what the fifth amendment is
• Morticia was in an arranged marriage to some guy but Lurch accidentally caused his death via toothpick so
• Lurch has both a mother and a father and at least one of them built him
• Wednesday was once stalked by a cat
• At one point the Family had to hold a seance to bring Pugsley back to their plane of existence but stopped halfway through to play Charades with Thing
  
• Morticia’s Mother was the Wicked Witch of the West
• Grandmama had a brother named Jester who liked to play pranks
• Gomez can be hypnotized by the sound of a bugle
• Fester somehow had a baby with the Moon
• Pugsley once wanted a job at the bank so he tunneled into their vaults and started counting money for them
• The Addams Family have actually met the Scooby Doo Gang; they housekept for them while Gomez and Morticia were on another honeymoon
• Speaking of which they canonically have had at least 32 honeymoons
• They also banged during a hurricane definitely more than once
• Grandmama has a Drug Cart
• Wednesday taught Lurch how to dance at least twice
• The Addams Family have an Alligator that has changed genders at least once and though that was probably more of a continuity error than anything I don’t care I love the Genderfluid Alligator™
• Pugsley knows how to drive
• At one point Gomez was voiced by Scrappy Doo
• When Pugsley turns “Normal” he becomes an Underwear Intern
• Wednesday has set fire to the Jehovah’s Witnesses and also a Camp but we all knew about that
• Grandmama ran a Psychic Hotline
• There’s a very good chance that Pugsley hatched out of something
• Wednesday once had a crush on a boy so she tried to guillotine him
• MORTICIA AND GOMEZ HAD TWO MORE CHILDREN AFTER WEDNESDAY AND PUGSLEY AND NAMED THEM WEDNESDAY II AND PUGSLEY II

I can’t tell if any of this is serious or a joke, and that’s the best part.

That summer camp NEEDED to be burnt to the ground okay

“Wednesday once had a crush on a boy so she tried to guillotine him“

completely reasonable response to having a crush on someone

First Date Ideas

Ok, but…

Fester had a child with the Moon.

wut

I have questions but am terrified of the answers

Don’t forget: both Uncle Fester canon…

Fester is Morticia Addams’ uncle.

Fester is Gomez Addams’ brother.