in the past month, i’ve read over 200 submissions for the literary organizations i volunteer with, and i want to share some of the stuff i’ve learned about writing as a slush reader.
(a slush reader is someone who reads submissions, and either declines them or pushes them through for editors/judges to make a final decision on whether or not a story will be published.)
a rejection does not mean you are a bad writer or that you’ve written a bad story. it’s all chaos. there’s no rhyme or reason to any of it. i was chosen as a reader for these publications because my personal taste in literature jived with the editors. that’s all it comes down to – personal taste. if your taste doesn’t match the taste of the slush readers, you’re not going to get published. there is no way you can predict that, so all you can do is keep writing and keep submitting and hope your work aligns with someone who gets what you’re trying to do. that said, there are some across-the-board things that are worth noting:
your story should be doing some kind of Work. what is the intention of your piece? what are you trying to comment on, explore, or do? it doesn’t have to be concise or obvious or complex, it can be literally anything in any way, but if you’re writing something just for the sake of getting published, or to validate yourself, it’s going to be pretty obvious to readers. that is not to say that self-validating work is not valuable, or that a story cannot be both Doing Something and self-validating, but readers want to see that you have something to say, some work to do other than, “i want to be a good writer.”
readers will probably have made their decision by page 4. probably sooner than that depending on the quality of the writing. that means you have (if you’ve written in 12pt serif font and double-spaced, and please dear god, do these things unless you’re intentionally playing with form) about a thousand words to engage a reader. if you’ve written a short story, personal essay, or novel excerpt (sorry, cannot speak for poetry), this means your core conflict needs to have been introduced by this point and headed in some kind of direction. to put it more clearly: i need to know what’s going on. elusiveness is not your friend. i want to know: 1) who is the main character, and 2) what do they want? if you do not have these things established by page 4, your work might still be an early draft.
caveat being, of course, if you’re writing experimentally, in which case i hope you’ve submitted to an experimental publication. but there’s a big difference in good experimental vs bad experimental writing, and that is:
write with intention. intention is the difference between dancing alone in your bedroom and becoming a ballerina. both forms of dance might be good, you might be an innately talented dancer alone in your bedroom, but choreographed dancing takes discipline and practice. when it comes to writing, every sentence needs to be chosen to determine if it works for the piece. this is unfortunately one of the hardest parts about writing.
take risks. my least favorite stories are the ones that make me think, this has been done before. having to read hundreds of stories means repetition – i see the same themes over and over (white man feeling conflicted about cheating on his wife), the same writing styles (purple prose run-on sentences), the same characters (middle-class english teachers). i want to read words i don’t expect about stories i’ve never thought of. i want to see confidence in creativity. i want to see writing that acknowledges convention and destroys it for something better. show me newness, ingenuity, artistic expression. show me the stuff you’re afraid to write for fear of ridicule – that’s the stuff that gets published.
THE WORLD WANTS TO HEAR FROM FANFIC WRITERS. when i volunteered with one publication, the application involved a list of the last 15 novels i’d read. and i thought, i don’t want this gig if i can’t be brutally honest, so you bet your ass i put fanfic on there. i was accepted within a day. when i’ve told my writing mentors that i write fanfic, their faces have all lit up in excitement and they have a ton of questions. i cannot tell you how many submissions i’ve read where the interactions between characters feel stilted and normative, and all i’m looking for is the kind of dynamic tension and chemistry that fanfic authors have mastered. so if you write fanfic and don’t think you’re good enough to write “literature” i’m here to tell you, you absolutely are.
You are the greatest archeologist in the world and you have been looking for the City of Gold for decades, after all these years you have found the City. When you open the ancient gates you see glitters running towards you, the “gold” of the city has always been thousands of Golden Retrievers.
This is amazing! Thanks for drawing this prompt @kichiart
There’s some intersection between Discworld fans and D&D players on this site, right?
So if I were hypothetically trying to build a character based vaguely on either Granny Weatherwax or Tiffany Aching would that character be a druid or a bard?
Like, the focus on “Headology/Boffo” inherent in both characters would translate to high Charisma and their general sensibility and keen observation of people would mean high Wisdom. Intelligence score would be a non-issue, especially for Granny.
A Circle of the Shepherd druid is thematically appropriate for Tiffany (walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf!), and the Feegles would essentially count as a hord of fey creatures. Granny would be one hell of a bard, with her deep knowledge of the power and importance of stories.
The only other class that might work is sorcerer and that’s too much big, flash-bang magic…right?
Anyway. Assigning D&D classes to Discworld characters sounds fun.
Vimes is probably a fighter, but Carrot might be a paladin.
Is Susan a sorcerer or a Warlock/Cleric of Death?
What the hell is Nanny Ogg????
“what the hell is Nanny Ogg????” is the best description we could ask for, well done
Whatever class is Rincewind, the dice clearly hate him.
all the notes on this post are excellent, but this is by far the best.
Describe the climax of your favorite Discworld book as poorly as possible
I’ll go first:
A berserk man solves a crime by yelling a children’s book underground
A banker/con artist sees a dog with a dildo and it gives him the freedom to confess to his crimes
A little girl fights off fairies by being greedy.
everyone get IN ON THIS
- Exhausted local man whacks a child’s terrifying haunted stick with a halfbrick in a sock and is blasted to another plane of reality for his pains
- A cranky old woman torments some vampires by not drinking a cup of tea
- Respectable young lady threatens some men and sort of discovers swearing, accidental reporter discovers his father is an even worse person than he thought
A group of women infiltrate an enemy base by convincing the guards that they are, in fact, women. Which they are.
I want a story about a king whose son is prophesied to kill him so the king is like “whatever what am I supposed to do, kill my own kid wtf is wrong with you” so he just raises him as normal, doesn’t even tell him about the prophecy, and instead of some convoluted twist of events that leads to the king’s murder the son grows up and when the king is very old and dying and in excruciating pain the kid is just like alright I'mma put him out of his misery.
The king’s son becomes the new king, and is prophesied to defeat evil and bring an age of prosperity. His generals and knights all crack their knuckles but he pretty much ignores them and focuses on strengthening the infrastructure of his kingdom. Forty years later he is old and sick but still hearing his subjects’ grievances, and a general’s like “how will you defeat the prophesied evil now? You’re old and weak.” Another visitor, a teenager fresh out of the kingdom’s public education system, looks at the general like he is an ignoramus. The king eradicated poverty, housed the homeless, taught the ignorant, ended class exploitation by abolishing the nobility and imprisoning the corrupt, and established a highly respected guild of doctors that recently figured out how to cure the plague. There are no brigands because there is enough wealth for everyone to live comfortably; hiding in the woods and taking trinkets from people simply doesn’t make any sense for anyone but the desperate, and the people are not desperate. Evil is a weed, explains the teenager. It grows in cracked roads and crumbling houses and forgotten corners, rooted in indifference and watered by suffering. But the king demands that broken things be mended and suffering people be made well.
No evil lives in this kingdom, says the teenager. It starved to death before I was born.
Every once in a while, when I’m feeling down, I go and look at the notes on this post and they make me feel a lot better. This is the energy I want to carry into 2018.
not to be dramatic, but Okoye telling her bitch ass husband she would end him without hesitation when he tried to manipulate her changed me as a person and cured my depression.
“would you kill me my love?”
“for wakanda? No question.”
a woman in my theater: “oH I HEARD THAT!!!!”
Listen. LISTEN. *cups your face in my hands* Listen to me. I have never so perfectly and purely seen a Paladin depicted in a movie as I saw in Okoye. Lawful good to her core. Pure, unvarnished loyalty to Wakanda and her people evident in every goddamned motion. Dignified, graceful, reverent respect for the rules of her country and its greater good.
There is something so beautiful about faith, something that just burns through with a beautiful glow that lights up someone’s eyes and every expression. There is a confidence and a peace that is both palpable and enviable when faith has been tested and come through intact. You could so hear it in her voice.
Personal shit is great, and I’m glad she was seen in a loving relationship. The Lone Woman Warrior trope is worn thin, and I’m sure even thinner for black women who are often not allowed to be lovable people on screen. But the core of the Paladin is ‘there is something greater than I, and I will sacrifice everything for it’, and it was beautiful to not only see that happen on screen but see her proved right, see her win, in one case by not even raising her weapon. She stood firm in her faith and the narrative said yes, it said this is just, it said your very faith will protect you from harm. And she’s not seen as hard or cold edged weapon for that. The imagery around her in that moment is more like a saint or an angel, glowing and reaching out a peaceful hand to a symbol of one of the tribes of her country. Her country loves her back.
Okoye doesn’t just love her country. She doesn’t just serve her country. She doesn’t just believe in her country. She has unshakable faith in an absolute truth: Wakanda Forever.
She is elevated for her faith as much as her skill.
Atilliator: skilled castle worker who made crossbows.
Baliff: in charge of allotting jobs to the peasants, building repair, and repair of tools used by the peasants.
Barber: someone who cut hair. Also served as dentists, surgeons and blood-letters.
Blacksmith: forged and sharpened tools and weapons, beat
out dents in armor, made hinges for doors, and window grills. Also
referred to as Smiths.
Bottler: in charge of the buttery or bottlery.
Butler: cared for the cellar and was in charge of large
butts and little butts (bottles) of wine and beer. Under him a staff of
people might consist of brewers, tapsters, cellarers, dispensers,
cupbearers and dapifer.
Carder: someone who brushed cloth during its manufacture.
Carpenter: built flooring, roofing, siege engines, furniture, panelling for rooms, and scaffoling for building.
Carters: workmen who brought wood and stone to the site of a castle under construction.
Castellan: resident owner or person in charge of a castle (custodian).
Chamberlain: responsible for the great chamber and for the personal finances of the castellan.
Chaplain: provided spirtual welfare for laborers and the
castle garrison. The duties might also include supervising building
operations, clerk, and keeping accounts. He also tended to the chapel.
Clerk: a person who checked material costs, wages, and kept accounts.
Constable: a person who took care (the governor or
warden) of a castle in the absence of the owner. This was sometimes
bestowed upon a great baron as an honor and some royal castles had
hereditary constables.
Cook: roasted, broiled, and baked food in the fireplaces and ovens.
Cottars: the lowest of the peasantry. Worked as swine-herds, prison guards, and did odd jobs.
Ditcher: worker who dug moats, vaults, foundations and mines.
Dyer: someone who dyed cloth in huge heated vats during its manufacture.
Ewerer: worker who brought and heated water for the nobles.
Falconer: highly skilled expert responsible for the care and training of hawks for the sport of falconry.
Fuller: worker who shrinks & thickens cloth fibers through wetting & beating the material.
Glaziers: a person who cut and shaped glass.
Gong Farmer: a latrine pit emptier.
Hayward: someone who tended the hedges.
Herald: knights assistant and an expert advisor on heraldry.
Keeper of the Wardrobe: in charge of the tailors and laundress.
Knight: a professional soldier. This was achieved only after long and arduous training which began in infancy.
Laird: minor baron or small landlord.
Marshal: officer in charge of a household’s horses,
carts, wagons, and containers. His staff included farriers, grooms,
carters, smiths and clerks. He also oversaw the transporting of goods.
Master Mason: responsible for the designing and overseeing the building of a structure.
Messengers: servants of the lord who carried receipts, letters, and commodities.
Miner: skilled professional who dug tunnels for the purpose of undermining a castle.
Minstrels: part of of the castle staff who provided entertainment in the form of singing and playing musical instruments.
Porter: took care of the doors (janitor), particularly
the main entrance. Responsible for the guardrooms. The person also
insured that no one entered or left the castle withour permission. Also
known as the door-ward.
Reeve: supervised the work on lord’s property. He
checked that everyone began and stopped work on time, and insured
nothing was stolen. Senior officer of a borough.
Sapper: an unskilled person who dug a mine or approach tunnel.
Scullions: responsible for washing and cleaning in the kitchen.
Shearmen: a person who trimmed the cloth during its manufacture.
Shoemaker: a craftsman who made shoes. Known also as Cordwainers.
Spinster: a name given to a woman who earned her living
spinning yarn. Later this was expanded and any unmarried woman was
called a spinster.
Steward: took care of the estate and domestic
administration. Supervised the household and events in the great hall.
Also referred to as a Seneschal.
Squire: attained at the age of 14 while training as a
knight. He would be assigned to a knight to carry and care for the
weapons and horse.
Watchmen: an official at the castle responsible for security. Assited by lookouts (the garrison).
Weaver: someone who cleaned and compacted cloth, in association with the Walker and Fuller.
Woodworkers: tradesmen called Board-hewers who worked in the forest, producing joists and beams.
Other medieval jobs included:
tanners, soap makers, cask makers, cloth makers, candle makers
(chandlers), gold and silver smiths, laundresses, bakers, grooms, pages,
huntsmen, doctors, painters, plasterers, and painters, potters, brick
and tile makers, glass makers, shipwrights, sailors, butchers,
fishmongers, farmers, herdsmen, millers, the clergy, parish priests,
members of the monastic orders, innkeepers, roadmenders, woodwards (for
the
forests). slingers.
Other Domestic jobs inside the castle or manor:
Personal atendants- ladies-in-waiting, chamber maids, doctor.
The myriad of people involved in the preparation and serving
of meals- brewers, poulterer, fruiterers, slaughterers, dispensers, cooks and the cupbearers.
Real writing tip that is actually really really important: SAVE BACKUPS of your work!!! Email yourself the file every few weeks or so!!!!! I had five book drafts and a completed manuscript and a query letter and now my computer is completely dead! Thankfully though, I had emailed myself the files just a week before it happened! Backups are IMPORTANT!!!!
please be respectful of cultural boundaries when working with mermaids from various cultures and traditions, and be mindful not to intrude.
🌊 Rusalkas - slavic in origin, disturbed spirits of the “unclean dead”, ghosts of women who died violent deaths, with a penchant for drowning young men. they live only in rivers and lakes, and are known to have green hair like aquatic plants, only appearing in the night.
🌊 Melusina - a mermaid that walks among humans, but returns to their two-tailed form during baths and when they bathe their children. often a water spirit of a nearby lake or river. french origin.
🌊 Siren - greek mythology. servants and companions of persephone, whom searched for her when she was abducted. they are known to sometimes have the body of a bird, and for their song, which lured sailors to their doom. cannibalism implied folklore. have the power of prophecy.
🌊 Merrow - irish mermaid. known to have green hair and webbed fingers. particular noted love of music and their red cap, which when stolen, they will live with the thief until they find it, and then return to the water, leaving even a whole family behind.
🌊 Ben-varrey - from the isle of man, known to bless those that are kind to them with prosperity, gifts, and even the location of treasure.
🌊 Aicaya -
Caribbean mermaid, humans who become mermaids when they are shunned from their community and go to live in the sea.
🌊 Amabie - japanese merpeople, with birdlike torsos and three legs and scales. they are gifted with prophecy, usually foretelling abundant harvests or epidemics
🌊 Ningyo - “human faced fish” known to have golden scales, that brings bad weather and misfortune when caught, but when their flesh is eaten the consumer is granted youth and beauty, even agelessness.
🌊 Finman / Finwife - magical shapeshifters that disguise themselves as sea creatures or plants to lure humans, unlike most mermaids they kidnap people from the shores to be their spouses or servants. they have a greed for jewelry and coins, particularly silver, and prefer humans over other finfolk.
🌊 Sirena Chilota - considered the more friendly mermaids, caring for all fish life and rescuing drowned sailors to restore life to them. known for their human-like beauty and youth, according to legend they are the child of a human and a “king of seas”, tears are a powerful substance. from chilote mythology.
🌊 Cecealia - sometimes known as “sea witches”, they are half human and half octopus. origins in native american and japanese mythology.
🌊 Sirena / Siyokoy - the philippine version of mermaid and merman respectively. also called “magindara”, they are known to protect the waters from raiders, and protect the boy moon from sea monsters. Siyokoys can sometimes have legs however, covered with scales and webbed feet
🌊 Sea Mither - scottish/orcadian mythology, a spirit that personifies the sea during spring and summer, battles along scottish isles using storms to bring the summer about. a mother figure to all aquatic life.
🌊 Ceasg - a fresh-water mermaid, specifically half-salmon, said to grant three wishes if captured. sometimes called maighdean na tuinne (maid of the wave) or maighdean mhara (maid of the sea). scottish.
🌊 Selkie - though somewhat different from the typical mermaid, as they are not cold-blooded, have the body of a seal in the water and are human on land. in legends their skins are often stolen and they are kept by fishermen as spouses, or become lovers to fishermen’s wives who shed tears into the sea.
I had no idea so many versions existed.
@territorial-utopia saw this going around my dash again and thought it might be useful to you! :D
star wars has such a good sci-fi aesthetic. all the sci-fi these days looks so…… i-pad-esque, y’know? like Apple lived on into the year 3000 and produces everything. but star wars. star wars’ style looks like a microwave you’d find in your uncle’s garage. like the business calculator your mom used. like a SNES. DURABLE. no gloss.
